From the people behind “Every Man’s Battle” is a book that may be a good resource for spouses of men with sexual addiction problems.

Everyone that we know that has read the book thought it was helpful. The book is a great primer on resisting temptation. It is definitely different than the EMB seminar. The book is a lighter read, the seminar is more of an intensive series of sessions that go much deeper into dealing with the reasons we do what we do.

This is a good book to work through. Each group typically works through a book in their meetings. This one is frequently used. Here is a quote from the BN website:

Most Christians are quick to link sexual integrity with holiness. Clean thoughts and actions are important to God and to us. Yet for many, maintaining a wholesome, biblical sexuality seems hopelessly beyond reach. Such people’s deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behavior keep them stuck on a treadmill of sin, even as they long for a walk of purity. Faithful and True offers a path that leads beyond compulsive thoughts and behaviors toward sexual integrity and self-control. Sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness, Dr. Mark Laaser: - traces the roots of sexual addiction in families and in culture - shows how sexual sin poisons the lives of pastors and laypeople alike - provides a complete 12-step program for treatment and recovery from sexual addiction. You may be the spouse, pastor, family member, or friend of someone with a sexual addiction. Of you yourself may struggle with urges you’ve not been able to overcome. Regardless, hope and help are at hand. Faithful and True steers you over the rocky but navigable road to understanding, wholeness, and holiness.

An excellent book about the deeper issues of sexual addiction. From the Barnes and Nobel website:

We all long for true intimacy. Many people seek to fill that void by seeking sexual relationships-whether real or fantasized-that promise to provide the relief, acceptance, and fulfillment for which they long. But it is false intimacy. And as Dr. Harry Schaumburg points out, “Sexual intimacy can’t relieve their deep, unmet longings. “False Intimacy goes beyond behavioral symptoms and willpower-based solutions to provide biblical guideposts for the journey to restoration.

Where to get SA resources.

The famous white book. It has a plain white cover so no one knows what you are reading. The content is great. Some groups work through this book in their meetings.

Some people who struggle with addiction issues were sexually abused as children. This book is a good resource for those people. Consider working the book and workbook together. Also consider working this book under the guidance of a skilled, experienced christian counselor. From the BN website:

Designed to be used on your own or in a group, this workbook will lead you step-by-step through the process of change: facing the truth about past and present experiences and feelings; wrestling with God, other people, and yourself; understanding the goals and fears that have determined how you relate to others.

He works out of Prairie View East office. Good guy. Rowan does not specialize in sexual addiction but those who have seen him have reported great progress.

Used by some that we know. They also have a passworded version that you have to ask for. The passworded version allows you to tailor what sites get blocked or let through fpor each computer that has the software installed. You have to ask for the passworded version. I do not recommend that the person that has the problem also have the password!

A DNS server that you may point your router to. It is free and actually works pretty well.

This site has reviews and user comments on some of the filters.

From the site:

  1.  Content Controls - Flexible content control allows you to select the types of website that are appropriate.
  2. Program Controls - Control Instant Messengers, P2P File Sharing, and other harmful programs.
  3. Time Controls - Control the amount of time spent online, and the times when the internet is available.
  4. Usage Logging - Create and review logs of websites visited, programs used on the Internet, and Instant Messaging Chats.
  5. Usage Alerts - Be notified instantly via email, text message, or phone call when someone visits inappropriate websites.

From the site:

I knew that I needed get away from this tremendously harmful material. That’s why I started WiseChoice Filter. We don’t plan to get into trouble with pornography, to ruin our marriages, our reputations, our careers. Internet porn takes on a life of its own and sweeps us away.

Every Man’s Battle offers many kinds of support. Some of the people involved at F&T have attended their weekend intensive and report good things. From their site:

Porn. Lust. Affairs. They’ve taken your life to a place you never could have imagined. It’s a serious problem that requires a serious solution. The Every Man’s Battle Workshop is the place where men engage in the battle to get back their sexual integrity. In this intensive three-day workshop you’ll work with licensed Christian counselors who will arm you with the weapons you need for victory. The enemy may have wounded you, but the battle is not over. Register today. Too much is at stake not to take action.

Faithful & True South Carolina, Inc. is a non-profit, faith-based organization dedicated to restoring sexual integrity and wholeness to men, women, spouses, couples, clergy, community and ministry leaders, and youth. They offer Men’s 3-day intensive sexual integrity groups and Spouse’s 3-day intensive recovery groups

Every Man’s Battle offers many kinds of support. Some of the people involved at F&T have attended their weekend intensive and report good things. From their site:

Porn. Lust. Affairs. They’ve taken your life to a place you never could have imagined. It’s a serious problem that requires a serious solution. The Every Man’s Battle Workshop is the place where men engage in the battle to get back their sexual integrity. In this intensive three-day workshop you’ll work with licensed Christian counselors who will arm you with the weapons you need for victory. The enemy may have wounded you, but the battle is not over. Register today. Too much is at stake not to take action.

A leading ministry that help gay and lesbian believers.

From their site:

L.I.F.E. Ministries International is a Christ-centered support group ministry whose mission is to encourage, empower, and equip God’s people to live everyday in sexual integrity. L.I.F.E. provides consistently-revised workbook resources, educational multimedia presentations, and support group structure to local churches across the globe.

From their site:

MEN of INTEGRITY men’s ministy is an interdenominational men’s ministry dedicated to helping men be the godly men God calls us to be. A godly man is a servant, not a slavemaster. Being a spiritual leader does not mean dominating your family. It means serving your family, and being a godly example to your wife and children.

An awesome website with christian sexual addiction information. There are free studies and resources (look for them at the right hand top area). from the site:

Nearly one-half of all men struggle with pornography and lust. Many spend hours a day chasing after these things. Simply pulling harder at your bootstraps to lift yourself up will not set you free. If you could do this on your own, you would have by now.

Lots of people have found SA to be a lifesaver in their quest to me sexually sober. Some of the old timers of Faithful and True in the Wichita area started out at SA meetings.

Many F&T people have either started out here or attend SA meetings as another recovery meeting option when they need another meeting on a different day of the week.

A general page on sexual addiction.